As a little girl I constantly would run to my dad, filled with excitement, to share even the smallest of drawings or crafts I made. No matter bad my artwork would actually be my father always would reply “that’s beautiful sweetheart, I’m so proud of you. Someday maybe you will be a great artist”. Every word of encouragement and acknowledgment would fill my heart with pride and even hope that maybe, just maybe, I am good at something and it would make me happy.
As an adult life is filled with reminders of how inadequate we truly are and sometimes I feel like no matter how I try it’s not enough. I often feel like I’m good at many things, I just wish could find that one thing I’m great at. We spend so much time trying to please others and looking for validation it’s hard not to feel let down and unappreciated.
That’s what is so great about parents, no matter how old we get they are that one person that will always give you the much needed pat on the back and comforting words “it’s beautiful sweetheart”. When life beats you down your parents will always be there to pull you back up.
My father was one of my biggest fans. When ever he would visit I would always have something new to show him. Like that little girl back in the day I would run and open my computer and share with him all the new projects and pictures I had been working on and he would always tell me how great I was and help, even for a few minutes, make me feel like I was good enough.
There are a lot of emotions we go through when we lose a parent and of course one of the greatest is the feeling of loss. What we I didn’t know that with loss there are dozens of areas that comprise just that one chapter. Right now I’m working on the feeling of loss of being great and amazing in at least one person’s eyes.
Yes my youngest son still thinks I am the sun, the moon and the stars but having a teenager I know that this wont last long. With a parent you will always be the brightest star in the universe. I just recently worked on a lot of new art projects and no matter how proud my husband is and great my friends say things look it isn’t the same as my daddy coming to visit and showing him “look what I made dad”.
I can only hope that he is looking down on me now and thinking “it looks great kid, good job and maybe someday you will be a great artist.
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