That said the older I get I find myself not enjoying the whimsical songs and life altering lessons of the lovable Oompa Loompa’s as much as I once did. Actually as a mom I find myself angry and annoyed with Charlie and how he handles his big win.

Here is Charlies mom killing herself and working her fingers to the bone to take care of this selfish little boy and his lazy grandparents only to have him give her a big F-You by not offering to take her with him to the Chocolate factory. If anyone in that family deserved to go and was in need of a little vacation topped with a bite of chocolate it would be that selfless women who gave this inconsiderate brat life.

So here’s to you Charlie, take the Golden Ticket and stick where the sun doesn’t shine. I only hope they make a follow up to the movie where he is cursed with his own selfish monsters who walk all over him and never say thank you for his hard work!

I\’ve Got A Golden Ticket!

As an adult life is filled with reminders of how inadequate we truly are and sometimes I feel like no matter how I try it’s not enough. I often feel like I’m good at many things, I just wish could find that one thing I’m great at. We spend so much time trying to please others and looking for validation it’s hard not to feel let down and unappreciated.

That’s what is so great about parents, no matter how old we get they are that one person that will always give you the much needed pat on the back and comforting words “it’s beautiful sweetheart”. When life beats you down your parents will always be there to pull you back up.

My father was one of my biggest fans. When ever he would visit I would always have something new to show him. Like that little girl back in the day I would run and open my computer and share with him all the new projects and pictures I had been working on and he would always tell me how great I was and help, even for a few minutes, make me feel like I was good enough.

There are a lot of emotions we go through when we lose a parent and of course one of the greatest is the feeling of loss. What we I didn’t know that with loss there are dozens of areas that comprise just that one chapter. Right now I’m working on the feeling of loss of being great and amazing in at least one person’s eyes.

Yes my youngest son still thinks I am the sun, the moon and the stars but having a teenager I know that this wont last long. With a parent you will always be the brightest star in the universe.  I just recently worked on a lot of new art projects and no matter how proud my husband is and great my friends say things look it isn’t the same as my daddy coming to visit and showing him “look what I made dad”.

I can only hope that he is looking down on me now and thinking “it looks great kid, good job and maybe someday you will be a great artist.

I come from a family of over sharers and people who loved to talk about and at times live in the past. They would share past experiences in great detail that opened up, just for a brief moment, a picture of their history. Their stories gave me a glimpse of who they were and what what it was like. In a way giving me a chance to relive that part of their memory along with them almost like taking a ride into a time machine into their past.

My great grandmother shared amazing stories growing up in the early 1900′s being poor in a small town when medicine wasn’t what it is today. As a young child there was a break out of some type of illness that tragically was killing many family’s in her town in alarming numbers. Because of fears that this disease could spread they would quarantine people to their homes. They would have to rely on what they had at hand and some would get sick from lack of food and water. During this dark moment in her history, her family was locked away from the world with little to no food and they feared they could starve. Out of desperation, as a family they began to pray. One morning there was a knock on the door and a stranger was there to offer them hope, help and food. This man only stayed long enough to help heal and feed this family, my family. He offered them comfort and acted as a reminder that God listens and with just a little faith everything can and will be ok. As a young girl out on the farm in the middle of no where, my great grandmother swears that after his work was done, this stranger walked away from their home down a dirt road and disappeared never to be seen again.

Her story still pulls at my heart. Part of it’s strong meaning maybe because of the faith it gave her, talking about the angel God sent her family to save them and how it began her long lasting faith in the Lord and how important it was to share his word with her children and grandchildren. Or maybe it means so much to me because of how interesting it is to get a taste of my family history and where my roots started. It doesn’t matter why I just love that old story.

I don’t know how much of her story is true or exaggerated. I don’t need to know how the real details happened and what was left out abut of the man that saved her. I don’t want to know because I like her story the way it is. I like believing that a stranger, an angel, saved them and helped them to live and also allowed their faith to grow brighter.

My own children may grow tired of the same stories over and over again but someday, I don’t know when, they may have a stronger meaning to them like they do to me.  I can only hope that they will cherish my own stories and the stories of my families past that way I do and someday they will share them with their own children.

I will continue to be an over sharer and I refuse to let go of the past because sometimes, that past can offer hope. Hope not only for me; but maybe just like my Great Grandmother’s stories, offer hope for generations to come.

Here is to never letting go of the past filled with so much hope.

This time last year my dear father was diagnosed with emphysema caused from exposure to asbestos. We all understood he could possibly become ill but our fears became a nightmare when he was officially diagnose with stage three small cell lung cancer in April 2011.

After my fathers cancer diagnosis my thoughts about life and family changed and I found myself traveling to see him as much as possible. The emotional roller was very trying as we all watched my once strong father bravely fight this scary disease. I’m sorry to say he lost his battle at 5:40 am on October 24, 2011 and I was lucky enough to be there holding his hand.

During his illness I decided to start using this page as a business site and stop blogging because I was too busy and personally invested in family issues.  But now I’m back.  I deleted all the business post and starting from scratch. I started my site as a way to write and share my life with the world even if the only one reading it is me. This page is something I wanted to do then and now I know its something I need, my safe place to go and be myself.

So…….. I’m back bad grammar and all!  

Nintendo Wii in part with the American Heart Association is promoting a fun and fit way to spend time as a family and as we all know excericse is good for the heart. Nintendo Wii has fun games you can play that really do “kick your butt”. Between the bowling, yoga and other games I really did get a good work out. Anything fun I can do as a family is a win/win but adding something good for our health is a big plus in my book.

Our day started off with trying out the Wii fit and fit plus games. Then we enjoyed a wonderful lunch followed by a great speaker, Hank Wasiak. Hank Wasiak has written a number of books about asset based thinking and we were given a copy of his book “Change The Way You See Everything”. I plan on reading this book as soon as I can.

The message of the day is that there a number of things you can change in your life today that will keep you fit and heart healthy. The American Heart Association has a website that can help you with an action plan to get on the right path to healthy life at My Life Check.

OK so anyone who knows me I’m a freak about the holidays. My motto for the Christmas tree is “there is no such thing as too many ornaments”, I’ve always felt the same way about Halloween. Well that is, until I had my youngest child.

Having a child who is “sensitive” makes you have to re do and re think everything about life, and for me that even has meant the holidays. I love to scare and gore thins up but have backed off. But I’m happy to say that this year my youngest has asked and let me do some fun and scary things in the front yard.

But the the one thing nwo I’m having to deal with is costumes. Even being into the “scarier” side of Halloween I’ve always been on the side of “age 10 or older for gory costumes”. I’ve been pretty strict about it. But my little guy, who is scared of his own shadow, has asked, begged and cried for me to let him dress scary.

I said no at first but had to take a step back and try to figure out why I’m really saying no. I could give you all the bogus excuses I gave myself at first but the truth is, and it was hard to admit, I was scared of what other parents would think. I really was worried about how my parenting skills would be viewed based by my choice of costumes for my children.

So I caved and let my 7 year old pick out his own costume, at first it wasn’t great. He chose to pick and choose from what we already had. I kept telling him we could buy another and even took him to stores but he insisted on “making his own”, this was before I was willing to really let him get scary.

So today I gave him and by chance we found a costume on sale at CVS that was awesome. Very scary but easy to wear, 75% off so that made me happy and even though he wanted to do his own his words were “I HAVE TO HAVE IT!”

So I gave in and my answer to “boo or not to boo” was simple… it’s once a year and why not. It’s fun and heck I’m gonna dress up and “boo” with you!

It’s the first day of middle school and you’re so nervous you can feel you stomach creeping into your throat.  Will this be the year I can finally fit in? Maybe things will be different and people will finally like me? Why am I so different? Why am I such a freak? Why can’t I just fit in? Why can’t I just be normal? Why does everyone hate me so much? Why can’t I stop hating myself? Why am I so alone? Why do your words hurt so much? Why am I alive? Why can’t I just fall asleep and never wake up again? Why do I cry so much?

Why?

Why?

Help?

“kids will be kids”, “kids just need thicker skin”, “it’s part of life, get used it”, “its not bullying, just normal kid fighting”, “they deserved what they got”, “maybe if they tried fitting in more they wouldn’t be picked on so much”, “they’re just words, get over it” …..

Words hurt, and the pain can last a life time. Being “punished” by your peers for being different isn’t fair. Being beaten down to the point of so much self doubt makes it difficult to tell anyone what is going on. Sometimes a child doesn’t know how to ask for help. Sometimes they are too broken or embarrassed to talk to anyone about it.

Bullying begins in the home and we all need to do something about it.

Here are just a few facts about bullying in the U.S. from the How To Stop Bullying website:

• 1 out of 4 kids is Bullied
• School bullying statistics surveys show that 77% of students are bullied mentally, verbally, & physically
• Each day 160,000 students miss school for fear of being bullied
• Playground school bullying statistics – Every 7 minutes a child is bullied. Adult intervention – 4%. Peer intervention – 11%. No intervention – 85%.

What are YOU doing to help?

The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. ~ Albert Einstein

I think it stems from my inner “youngest child” and not wanting to let go of the magic the day brings and liking to be the center of attention. So now that Mother’s Day is over I have to face reality of real life. I sort of blame my hubby, see he spoils me rotten on Mother’s Day. I don’t get just one day I get an entire weekend. 2 days free of cleaning, dishes, listening to my kids and type of worry at all. I get to spend the entire weekend, in bed and my p.j.’s if I want, doing nothing but offering hugs & kisses when the kids come in just to check if I’m still around and breathing.

So tomorrow it’s back to the grind. Back to waking up and getting kids ready for school, fixing lunches, laundry, homework, fixing dinner and being the real mom I got a break from being.

So thank you to my husband for always making me feel so special on my special day and thank you do my boys for allowing me to be a lazy blob and leaving me alone.